


love you twice

by DragonsAndCryptids



Series: FT one-shots [9]
Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Moving On, Natsu Is A Good Friend, lisanna was so in love with edo juvia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-12 20:20:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29390424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonsAndCryptids/pseuds/DragonsAndCryptids
Summary: Lisanna thought she'd found the person she'd be with forever, until her world was ripped away from her for a second time. Despite how happy she is to be back in Earthland, there are some things she just can't move on from, and some faces in the guild that she just can't handle.
Relationships: Juvia (Edolas)/Lisanna Strauss, Juvia Lockser/Lisanna Strauss, Natsu Dragneel & Lisanna Strauss
Series: FT one-shots [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1618369
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	love you twice

Lisanna was glad it rained when she came back. If it weren’t raining, everyone might have noticed she was crying. Well… maybe it wouldn’t have been that big of a deal, she might have been able to pass it off as happy tears. Happy tears because she was back home. Happy tears because she got to see her siblings again. Happy tears because she had Natsu back. 

But… but… 

She’d never got to say goodbye… Not to the one person she really should have. She was just gone without an explanation, without the truth, without anything. 

_ Juvia…  _

* * *

_ “I’ve always loved the rain, you know? It’s so relaxing.” Juvia tipped her head back, letting the raindrops fall onto her face, wisps of hair sticking to her forehead. “Don’t you like it, Lisanna?”  _

_ Quite honestly… no… Lisanna had never really enjoyed the rain. She didn’t  _ dislike _ it, but the rain meant it would be chillier, it meant she couldn’t really go out to play with Natsu, it meant that quests would probably be just a little bit harder. But she couldn’t find it in herself to tell Juvia that. “I guess it’s alright.” _

_ Juvia glanced over, worry pinching her eyebrows together. “You always seem so sad now, Lisanna. Different… we all assumed it was because… you know, your memories being all jumbled after that fall, but I don’t know…”  _

_ Lisanna pulled her knees to her chest, resting her chin on them. Honestly, she’d been waiting on something like this. She just hadn’t expected that it would be Juvia to figure it out first. She’d thought it would be Mirajane or Elfman.  _

_ There wasn’t even a version of Juvia back home, which was why Lisanna had latched onto her so quickly. She was completely new. It wasn’t like she was trying to replace old friends, old family members, when she was with Juvia. Juvia wasn’t someone with the face of someone she knew, but was just… just  _ off _ beneath the surface.  _

_ Juvia was comforting.  _

_ “I’m sorry…” Lisanna whispered. “I’m sorry I can’t be the Lisanna you knew.”  _

_ She supposed it was the same for all them though, wasn’t it? She was the wrong Lisanna, she looked like their Lisanna, sounded like their Lisanna, but she wasn’t  _ their Lisanna. 

_ “Oh, oh I didn’t mean it like that!” Juvia was quick to assure her. “I just… I want to let you know that it’s okay.” She leaned closer, pressing their shoulders together. “You don’t have to pretend around me. I’ll take you, however you are.”  _

_ Despite it all, Lisanna smiled. “Thank you, Juvia.”  _

* * *

Lisanna didn’t know what to do when she saw another Juvia. She was… she was different, but still… so similar. Lisanna had almost run up to her, taken her hand, and pressed a soft kiss to her cheek, just like she had done with her girlfriend, every time one of them got back from work. 

But she caught herself, reminding herself that this woman wasn’t the woman she had known. Wasn’t the woman she had grown so close with. 

This was a stranger, who looked eerily similar to her girlfriend.

_ Ex- _ girlfriend, she reminded herself. Because while they may have never officially broken up, they were never going to see each other again, were they? They were exes, and that was that. 

As much as it might have hurt. 

She hunched over the bathroom sink, her fingers curling around the porcelain, squeezing so tightly her nails bent against it and her knuckles ached. 

She just wanted to lie down next to her Juvia, to go for a walk in the rain with her, to braid her hair at night before they fell asleep, to laugh with her and feel her and talk with her. 

A choked sob forced its way up her throat. 

“Lisanna…?” The bathroom door creaked open. “Lisanna, are you okay?” 

Lisanna had done her best to keep anyone from finding out how upset she really was. She didn’t want to make them hurt, make them feel guilty. So she hid when she felt a crying jag coming on, and did her damndest to only cry behind locked doors or in the middle of the night when no one would hear. 

But something about watching Juvia,  _ this _ Juvia, not  _ her _ Juvia, drinking and laughing with Cana, had just been too much. 

She should have realized that Mirajane had watched her run to the bathroom. 

“No…” she admitted, reaching up to brush the tears away with her thumb. “No, I’m not. I want her back, Mira. I want to see her again.” 

Mirajane rushed over to wrap her arm around Lisanna’s shoulders. “Who?” 

“Juvia… my Juvia…” She sniffled. “My girlfriend.” 

Her sister’s eyes narrowed, and Lisanna left her to piece it all together. Mirajane was good at those kinds of things, and obviously she would know that Lisanna hadn’t been dating the Juvia that was here. “Oh…” She pulled Lisanna closer, and rubbed soothing circles on her back. “Oh, Lisanna… I’m so sorry. I never even thought about something like that…” 

“I never even got to tell her goodbye!” she sobbed. “I… I just… I miss her…”

“Sh, sh, it’s okay.” Mirajane held her tighter. “It’ll all be okay.” 

* * *

_ “Juvi!” Lisanna threw her arms around the other woman. “Oh, I feel like you were gone forever!”  _

_ Juvia laughed. “It was only a week.” She pressed a quick kiss to Lisanna’s cheek. “You could have come with me, you know.”  _

_ Lisanna shook her head. As much as she wanted to help Juvia with her work, she still hadn’t quite figured out the magic of Edolas, and she didn’t want to make things harder for her by being a burden. “Maybe eventually I will.”  _

_ “Well, alright then.” Juvia intertwined their fingers. “Let’s get something to eat, alright? I’m fucking  _ starving.”

_ Lisanna trailed after her, a dopey grin on her face. She’d only been in Edolas for a couple of months, and had just started dating Juvia two weeks ago, but she knew she was already head over heels for her.  _

_ Juvia was just so wonderful! And it was so easy around her! Lisanna never had to act or pretend, and Juvia never questioned it.  _

_ Lisanna was sure she would have gone crazy by now without her.  _

_ “I love you,” she said.  _

_ Juvia froze, her hand going limp in Lisanna’s grasp.  _

_ The takeover mage squeaked, realizing she’d said that out loud. They’d only been dating two weeks! That was probably too soon for that kind of thing, wasn’t it?  _

_ But Juvia merely beamed, and kissed Lisanna on the tip of her nose. “Love you, too, sweetheart.”  _

* * *

Lisanna shouldn’t have been surprised that Natsu found her. She’d been… kind of avoiding him since she’d gotten back, and given that it had been two months now, he’d probably realized it, and wanted to know why. 

And when Natsu wanted something, no one could really keep it from him. 

He found her at the cemetery, staring at her own grave. They hadn’t gotten it removed yet, it wasn’t a super big deal. And Lisanna didn’t mind at all. Actually, she’d taken to coming here when she needed time away from everyone else. No one would ever think to look for her here. 

But of course, with Natsu’s nose, there was no hiding from him. 

“The hell are you doing out here, Lis?” Natsu asked. “I think it’s about to rain.” 

Lisanna stared up at the darkening sky, trying to decide if she wanted it to rain or not. The rain reminded her of Juvia, of all the wonderful times they’d spent in the rain, but it also reminded her that she’d never have that again. “Oh… that’s fine…” she finally said. 

Natsu tilted his head, concern budding in his eyes. “Are you mad at me for some reason? Did I do somethin’ wrong?” 

“No, no… it’s… nothing to do with you, Natsu…” She settled down on the ground, crossing her legs, and staring at her name on the tombstone. 

It wasn’t that Lisanna was  _ upset _ she had come back to Earthland. She wasn’t! She was beyond glad she had everyone back again, and more often than not, she  _ was _ happy, but just… 

It was hard. 

“I’m sorry I haven’t really caught up with you,” she said. “Maybe we can take a job together sometime soon, or something!” 

“I’d like that!” He fell down next to her, close enough that their shoulders touched. 

Lisanna scooted away. 

“Are you  _ sure _ I didn’t do something wrong?” he asked as soon as she did. “Lucy tells me all the time that I’m clueless and—” 

“No!” she assured him. “No, it’s just…” Lisanna could admit she’d had a small crush on Natsu when she’d ended up in Edolas. A part of her had hoped it would spring back in full force now that she was back. 

But it hadn’t. 

She just… couldn’t move on, could she? 

Would she spend the rest of her life like this? 

“So you and Lucy, huh?” she asked, nudging his shoulder with her own and smiling at him. “After the Lucy I knew, I gotta admit, that’s… a bit of a shock.” 

Natsu stared at her a moment, before he began laughing. “Hell no, Lis! You got the wrong idea!” 

“Oh?” 

His laughing continued. “She’s just my friend. Besides, she’s got a thing for Cana.” 

“Oh… That’s… That’s nice…” 

His laughter cut off. “Why are you so sad, Lis? I can tell you have been, ever since you’ve come back.” He sighed. “I mean, you’re happy sometimes, but other times… I can just tell.” 

“I…” She hunched her shoulders as sprinkles of rain began to fall. Mirajane was the only one she’d actually told about Juvia. But Natsu was her best friend, wasn’t he? Who else would be better to confide in? “I had a girlfriend in Edolas… and I wish I hadn’t had to leave her.” 

“Oh…” Natsu wrapped his arm around his shoulders. “Shit, I’m sorry, Lis.” 

“It was Juvia,” she said. 

“Juvia? Like… like Edolas Juvia?” 

She nodded. 

“You know…  _ our _ Juvia doesn’t have a girlfriend,” he said. 

She shook her head. “It’s not the same, Natsu…” 

“Well I mean… probably not.” He tugged her closer. “But have you ever even talked to her?” 

“I don’t want to,” she whispered. “I know how different it’ll be, and she won’t know me at all, and it’ll hurt. Trust me.” She smiled wryly. “I’m very acquainted with the feeling.” 

“Yeah, I guess that would suck. Sorry, I won’t be pushy about it,” he said. “But like… if you ever need some idiot to accidentally shove a certain someone on top of you during a fight…” 

Lisanna chuckled. “I’ll think about it, Natsu.” 

* * *

_ Juvia wrapped her arms around Lisanna’s waist, and rested her chin on her shoulder. “It’s almost our one-year anniversary,” she said. “We should do something special.”  _

_ “Like what?” Lisanna asked.  _

_ Juvia hummed. “I don’t know. I’ll have to get back to you on that. I would suggest a lovely weekend in the capital or something, but we are kind of wanted criminals.”  _

_ Lisanna laughed. “Yeah, that does kind of put a damper on going out. We could go camping!” she suggested.  _

_ “I would rather die,” Juvia said. “But if that’s what you really want… I  _ guess _ I’ll learn how to pitch a tent for you.”  _

_ Lisanna twisted around to tousle her hair. “That’s sweet, but I won’t make you. Maybe we can just have everyone clear out of the guildhall for a night, and we can have a nice romantic dinner.”  _

_ “I’d like that.”  _

* * *

“Go talk to her,” Natsu encouraged as he sat down next to her. 

Lisanna blinked. “Huh?” 

“Juvia! You keep staring at her!” He pressed a cup of booze into her hands. “I mean… I know I don’t know much about this kinda shit, but why not at least give her a shot, you know?” 

“Natsu…” 

“I know, I know. She’s not the same,” he said. “But maybe you could still be friends. And… And besides, no matter who it is, it’s never going to be  _ exactly _ the same. But you know… the closest you’re ever going to get, will probably be her.” 

Lisanna stared down into the drink, mulling over his words. 

More often than not, Natsu tended to oversimplify things. But maybe that was what Lisanna needed right now. “I’ll think about it,” she finally conceded. 

Natsu grinned, and elbowed her in the side. “Good! She’d be damn lucky to have you.” 

Lisanna was glad she’d started spending time with Natsu again. 

* * *

_ “Juvia… I… I need to tell you something…” Lisanna whispered.  _

_ Juvia yawned, and rolled over to face her. “Yeah, what is it, babe?”  _

_ Lisanna took a deep breath. She’d been considering telling Juvia the truth for a while now. Their relationship was getting more serious, and she wanted her to know. Natsu and Wendy showing up today had only made her more sure she needed to be honest. “I….”  _

_ Juvia watched her, nothing but love in her wide, blue eyes.  _

_ “I just… I love you,” Lisanna said.  _

_ Juvia scoffed and rolled back over. “Dork. I was almost asleep.”  _

_ No, she didn’t need to do this. After all, Natsu hadn’t even realized it was her. She was never going to go back, and she’d be with Juvia forever. What point was there in telling her?  _

_ “Love you, too,” Juvia murmured.  _

* * *

Lisanna glanced back at Natsu, who grinned and gave her a thumbs up. 

She took a deep breath, and approached Juvia. “Hi! I’m Lisanna, but you probably already knew that didn’t you. You’re new here, right?” 

Juvia turned to look at her, and she smiled. “Oh, Lisanna! Juvia is very happy to finally talk to you! Your sister has told me so much about you!” 

_ That smile… Damn, that smile…  _ It was so similar to the one she had loved. 

“Yeah! So how are you liking the guild?” she asked. 

Juvia prattled off some answer, that Lisanna honestly didn’t catch. She was so enamored by the similarities, intrigued by the differences… 

And maybe Natsu was right. 

Maybe she should give this a chance. 


End file.
